A short dialogue in English with translation. Understanding English humor - jokes

Hello dear readers! I'm glad to see you on my blog page. I suggest reading jokes in English today, having fun and usefully spending time.

When you read books, articles in English or English, are you able to understand all the jokes? Or maybe you've been in a situation where someone told funny jokes and everyone around you laughed, except you? Shall we check?

I have made a selection of short English jokes on various topics. In general, the British love to laugh at themselves, but they also have a lot of good jokes about Russians. One of the best categories are jokes about (but I still wonder what nation is the author of them?). Children and students will find interesting jokes about school. Let's start with them!

About studying

Student : Brains like Bermuda triangle– wheninformation goes in it is never found again.

Translation.

Student: Brains are like the Bermuda Triangle - once information gets into it, it can no longer be found.

Teacher : Ikilledaperson. Tom Green, convert this sentence into Future Tense, please.

Student Tom Green : You will go to jail.

Translation.

Teacher: I killed a man. Tom Green, rephrase this sentence in the future tense. Student: You will go to jail.

Ifasingle teacher can't teach us all subjects, then how can you

expectastudent to learn all of them?

Translation.

If one teacher cannot teach us all subjects, how can a student be expected to learn them all?

One day

Hardwork never killed anybody, but why takeachance?

Translation.

Hard work has never killed anyone, but why take the risk?

wife : Darling,yesterday nightIsawa wonderfuldream - you were sending

me expensive clothes and jewelry. Husband: Yeah, andIsaw your dad paying the bill.

Translation.

Wife : Dear, yesterdayAt night I dreamed of you sending me expensive clothes and jewelry. Husband: Yes, and I saw your father pay the bill for it.

Ialwayslearn from the others' mistakes -those who take my advice.

Translation.

I always learn from the mistakes of others - those who follow my advice.

About everything

- Whatis the longest word in the English language?

  - « Smiles». Because there isamile between its first and last letters!

Translation.

— What is the longest word in the English language?

— « Smiles". Because there is a whole mile between the first and last letter!

Thegirl andtheboy are talking. The girl says," You could bean excellentdancer except for two things." The boy asks, « And what are they?» The girl answers," Your feet."

Translation.

Conversation between a girl and a boy. The girl says: “You could be an excellent dancer if not for two problems.” The boy asks: “Which ones?” The girl answers: “Your legs.”

- Willyou tell me your name?- Will. Knot.- Why not?

Translation.

- Can you tell me what your name is? - Yes. Not - Why not?

• Book « The best English jokes» will add a sea of ​​cool jokes to your collection! I recommend.
• A this collection (though in electronic form) will enrich your library not only with anecdotes, but also with famous legends and popular tales.
• Popular English and American jokes in the context of language teaching, this is an excellent option that the well-known Ilya Frank offers us.
• And one more collection « The best English jokes» will make you smile more than once and at the same time not strain, but enjoy easy reading.

About the English Queen

At the beginning of the article, I said that jokes about the Queen of England are very popular. Yes, but representatives of other nations, for example, we Russians, like such jokes more. The British themselves do not particularly welcome such topics... Either they are afraid of the wrath of the long-lived monarch, or is it really in their blood to be correct in everything!? What do you think, huh?

But still I managed to find one funny joke. I don’t even know who could have come up with it?….

Once Bernard Shaw dropped the phrase that all women are corrupt. The English Queen heard that and when meeting Shaw, asked him:

“Is it true, sir, that you are saying that all women are corrupt?”

"Yes, Your Majesty."

- And me too?! — exclaimed the queen indignantly.

"And you too, Your Majesty," Shaw said calmly.

“And how much am I worth?” asked the queen.

“Ten thousand pounds” Shaw said at once.

- What, so cheap?! The queen resented.

“You see, you are already bargaining about the price,” the playwright smiled.

Translation:

Bernard Shaw once said that all women are corrupt.

The Queen of England, having learned about this, asked Shaw when she met:

“Is it true, sir, that you say that all women are corrupt?”

- Yes, Your Majesty.

- And me too?! - the queen was indignant.

“And you too, Your Majesty,” Shaw replied calmly.

- And how much do I cost?! - the queen burst out.

“Ten thousand pounds sterling,” Shaw immediately determined.

- What, so cheap?! - the queen was surprised.

“You see, you’re already bargaining,” the playwright smiled.

Sometimes Russian people cannot comprehend the meaning of subtle and sharp English humor, because... Difficulties often arise with translation into Russian. There is an opinion that English humor is peculiar and difficult to perceive. What is the reason?

This happens because many jokes are based on double meaning of phrases or the use of words that sound similar but have different meanings (this is what I'm talking about, by the way). That’s why it’s so important to know the language well, above average.

That is why I recommend that you immediately subscribe to my blog and practice mastering the language regularly. Tell your friends and share the information received through links on social networks. Bye everyone, wait for new articles!

Good day! Perhaps English humor is famous all over the world. The British, like no one else, know how to joke, both at others and at themselves. English humor, on the one hand, is witty, subtle and sarcastic, and on the other hand, flat, rude and prim. It all depends on how much you understand the mentality of the British, the culture of the country and the language itself. English jokes are most often momentary impromptu.

If you don’t understand where to laugh, then I advise you to delve into the culture or history of Great Britain, or pay attention to complex words (from two stems). For example:

— Why do people wear shamrocks on St. Patrick's Day?
— Regular rocks are too heavy.
Why do people wear shamrocks on their clothes on St. Patrick's Day?
— Because ordinary stones are very heavy.

So what's so funny? - you ask. The fact is that the word shamrocks contains the word rocks, which is where the “salt” lies.

I hope these simple notes will help you understand English humor at least a little. But still, you will not be able to fully master all the subtleties of a good old English joke. To do this you need to be born an Englishman.

Often, in order to amuse an English-speaking interlocutor or simply to lighten up the conversation, jokes in English can be useful. Let's divide the jokes into several categories to make them easier to remember. Don't try to memorize a joke if you don't understand the meaning of all the sentences. Make a translation that you understand, and then tell the joke to your friends.

Please note: by learning English through jokes, you have a better chance of remembering new vocabulary, because... Emotions are involved when reading jokes, and they help in the process of memorizing new information.

English jokes on various topics

Vocabulary

As in every lesson, we will learn new words.

• Meal - food.
• Fly - fly.
• Soup - soup.
• Loudly - loud.
• Definition - definition.
• Well-informed - well informed.
• Blood relation - blood relationship.
• Advice - advice
• To realize - to realize.
• Certainly - of course, undoubtedly.
• Advertisement – ​​announcement.

My brain tells me, “Let’s go to the gym!”, but my whole body says, “Boy, cool down.
This sofa is so comfortable.”

Jokes about students

Let's see which jokes in English, given in the table with translation, will be relevant for those who are still studying.

Vocabulary

Write down and remember the following words.

• To convert - convert.
• Jail - prison.
• Grades - grades.
• Terrible - terrible.
• To charge – set a price.
• Bermuda triangle - Bermuda Triangle.
• Single - one and only.
• Subject - subject.
• Principal - director (of school, college).
• To produce - produce.
• Amount – quantity.
• To promote - promote.
• Noble cause is a good cause.

New seat belt design. Reducing the risk of road accidents by 45%.

Jokes about work

Vocabulary

Let's see what words you can add to your vocabulary from these jokes.

• Bust station – bus stop.
• Train station – railway station.
• Desk – desk.
• To take a chance - to take risks.
• To swivel - to rotate.
• To relocate – change location.
• To come on strong - look aggressive.
• To relax - relax.
• Recruiter – employer.

That moment when you realize you've only been at work for an hour.

English long joke

If you want to surprise your English-speaking friends with a longer joke, you can choose the one below.

Tip: It's no secret that Americans smile often. A positive mood and friendly attitude towards another person is considered the norm of behavior; do not neglect these unwritten rules - smile sincerely and laugh, share jokes with friends.

Vocabulary

If you look closely, the above jokes in English also contain several words that are worth taking note of.

• Pet shop - pet store.
• Parrot - parrot.
• Assistant – seller.
• Section – section, section.
• Orange – orange.
• Green – green.
• Red - red.
• To be surprised - to be surprised.
• To explain - to explain.
• To type – print.
• Expensive - expensive.
• Incoming - incoming.
• To take note - make a note.

Listen to another joke in English, understanding should not be difficult, because... the most difficult videos have been translated. Expand your collection of jokes and anecdotes while learning English. Don’t forget to write out new words from them, adding to your personal dictionary.

You've probably heard about the famous "English humor". Slightly specific features, sometimes incomprehensible to us, accompany every joke. But some of them have long been beaten. And in order to be aware and not look like a person without a sense of humor or a fool, it will be useful to read a few jokes in English with translation.

Everyone should have a sense of humor. There are situations when jokes are indispensable, and to prevent dialogue from developing into conflict, it is better to use a good joke. Sometimes it doesn’t hurt to even laugh at yourself. The British are sometimes mocked because of their sharp humor, because one of the main characteristics is the use of irony and sarcasm. It is their jokes that are often called dry sense of humour, What does sarcasm mean?

What do the British like to laugh at?

Above everything! Starting from themselves, ending with members of the royal family and the government. Yes, sometimes jokes in English are incomprehensible to us, not because of ignorance of words or language, but because of their content, exactly what is being ridiculed. It's all about different mentality, upbringing, habits and customs. Likewise, some of our jokes may not be funny to the English, because everything is based on a play on words. And when translating Russian jokes into English, sometimes they lose their ironic meaning.

Favorite reasons for laughter or irony are the weather and the special way of life of the country. After talking with the residents of Great Britain, you will see that they, like us, love to joke about any topic. Sometimes they themselves don’t even notice that a joke was made; it has already become their way of thinking.

Where can you find English humor?

Everywhere! In personal contact - very often. I would like to give advice. Even if you don't get the joke, it's better to smile or laugh out of politeness. This way you can “establish contact” with your interlocutor. When watching TV shows, movies, or listening to radio broadcasts, humorous statements are constantly used. Yes, if you translate an English joke literally, the result is an absurdity or a completely unfunny phrase. And I really want to understand what “he said there, how he attracted attention, how he made amends,” and so on. That is why we suggest you look at the list of the most popular english jokes. Understand them, look inside the English soul, and thereby make a huge breakthrough forward in learning the language.

An English teacher wrote these words on the whiteboard: “woman without her man isnothing." The teacher then asked the students to punctuate the words correctly.The men wrote: “Woman, without her man, is nothing.” The women wrote: “Woman! Without her, man is nothing.”

The teacher wrote the words on the board: “a woman without her man(s) is nothing,” and asked to use the correct punctuation marks. The man wrote: “A woman, without her man, is nothing.” The woman wrote: “Woman! Without her a man is nothing"

What’s the definition of a pessimist? A pessimist is a well-informed optimist.

What is a pessimist? A pessimist is a well-informed optimist.

Charles shouted upstairs to his wife, “Hurry up or we’ll be late.”“Oh, be quiet,” replied his wife. “Haven’t I been telling you for the last hour that I’ll be ready in a minute?”

Charles shouted to his wife: “Hurry! We are going to be late!" “Calm down,” the wife replied. “I’ve been telling you for an hour now that I’ll be ready now.”

There was an Scotsman, an Englishman and Claudia Schiffer sitting together in a carriage in a train going through Wales. Suddenly the train went through a tunnel and as it was an old style train, there were no lights in the carriages and it went completely dark. Then there was this kissing noise and the sound of a really loud slap. When the train came out of the tunnel, Claudia Schiffer and the Scotsman were sitting as if nothing had happened and the Englishman had his hand against his face as he had been slapped.

The Englishman was thinking: ‘The Scottish fella must have kissed Claudia Schiffer and she missedhim and slapped me instead.’Claudia Schiffer was thinking: ‘The English fella must have tried to kiss me and actually kissedthe Scotsman and got slapped for it.’And the Scotsman was thinking: ‘This is great. The next time the train goes through a tunnel I’llmake that kissing noise and slap that English b**tard again.

A Scot, an Englishman and Claudia Slate were sitting in the same carriage of a train traveling through Wales. Suddenly, the train entered the tunnel. Since it was an old type train, there was no light and the carriage became completely dark. Then the sound of a kiss and a resounding slap was heard. When the train left the tunnel, Claudia Slate and the Scotsman sat calmly, as if nothing had happened. And the Englishman pressed his hand to his cheek, as if he had received a slap in the face. The Englishman thinks: “The Scot must have kissed Claudia, and she missed and slapped me instead.” Slate thinks: “The Englishman must have wanted to kiss me, but he kissed the Scot and got a slap.” The Scot thinks: “Great. Next time, when the train is in the tunnel again, I will imitate the sound of a kiss and hit that English guy again...”

A man asked for a meal in a restaurant. The waiter brought the food and put it on the table. After amoment, the mancalled the waiter and said:"Waiter! Waiter! There’s a fly in my soup!”"Please don'tspeak so loudly, sir,” said the waiter, “or everyone will want one.”

The man made an order at the restaurant. The waiter brought the food and put it on the table. At that moment the man shouted: “Waiter! There's a fly in my soup! To which the waiter replied: “Hush, sir. Otherwise everyone will want it.”

What is the longest word in the English language? "Smiles" Because there is a mile between its first and last letters!

What is the longest word in the English language? ""S mile s. Because there is a whole mile between the first and last letter.

“George, darling, what is it about me you find so attractive? Is it my personality? "No." "Is it my figure?" "No." "Is it my charisma?" "No." "I give in." "That's it!"

George, dear. What do you find most attractive about me? My character? - No. My figure? - No. My charisma? - No. - I give up. - That's exactly it!

- Will you tell me your name?

- Will Knot.

- Why not? (play on English words)

—Will you tell me your name?

- I will be Not.

- Why not?

— I have good news and bad news, the defense lawyer says to his client.

— “What’s the bad news?”

— Your blood matches the DNA found at the murder scene.

- Dammit! cries the client. What's the good news?

“Well,” the lawyer says, “Your cholesterol is down to 140.

“I have two news: good and bad,” the lawyer says to the accused.

-What's the bad news?

— DNA analysis showed that it was your blood found at the crime scene.

- Crap! What's the good news?

— Your cholesterol has dropped to 140.

An admiral is standing at the Naval Academy in Annapolis when he stops a plebe* walking by.

“Sailor, do you have change for a dollar?”

"Sure, buddy," says the plebe, rooting around his pocket.

“That’s no way to address an officer! Now let's try it again. Do you have change for a dollar?”

“No, sir!”

The admiral stands outside the Naval Academy in Anappolys and stops a sailor passing by.

- Sailor, can you change a dollar?

“Of course, buddy,” said the sailor and reached into his pocket.

“You can’t address an officer like that!” Let's do it again. Are you changing a dollar?

- No, sir.

Have you read jokes in English with translation? Take a couple of notes and memorize them. And then in any appropriate situation you can demonstrate your sharp mind and sense of humor. But remember that in every joke there is only a fraction of fiction. And everything else is true. Therefore, always look for an ironic meaning, then you will not get into trouble.

Communication between people in life occurs through dialogues. So, dialogues in English will help you consider different models of answers to certain questions, learn about the manner of communication in English.

In everyday life, the most frequent communication occurs between two people, so knowing how best to respond in a given situation and knowing the basic phrases of the English language will be very useful. Thus, for beginners, the benefits of dialogues in English with translation into Russian will be quite great.

Since the main goal of learning English is communication with English-speaking people, dialogues in English with translation into your native language - Russian, will become one of the main materials, thanks to which you will bring your goal closer - to speak fluently in English and maintain a conversation with one a person or a group of people, correctly express their thoughts.

Over time, you will learn to get around without translation, but this is the beginning of the journey, which means you need to know what is being said, in particular, in a dialogue in English.

What does studying dialogue in English with translation provide?

Training in dialogues, first of all, gives the ability to construct sentences grammatically correctly, react correctly to certain everyday situations, and understand a person speaking English. In addition, your vocabulary is replenished with new words over and over again, with each new dialogue. Over and over again, you will encounter more and more familiar words and reactions to the situation. Repeating different situations and using previously learned words will allow you to learn English faster and achieve your goal.

Dialogues in English with translation

Dialogue in English:

Dialogue in Russian:

Dialogue one

- Hello. My name's Pete. What's yours? — Hello what is your name?

—Ann. — Anya

- Nice name. I like it very much. — Nice name. I love.

- Thank you. You name's good, too. — Thank you. your name is good too.

— It was nice meeting you. — It was nice meeting you

-Thanks. It was nice meeting you. — Thank you. It was nice to meet you.

Dialogue two

— Are lessons over? — Are classes over?

- Yes, they are. — Yes

- Where're you going? Home? — Where are you going? Home?

- No, to the park. My friend’s waiting for me there. - No, to the park. My friend is waiting for me there.

- Good luck, then. Good bye. — Good luck then. Goodbye.

- Well, I'm off. See you later. — Well, I'm done. See you later

Dialogue three

- Oh, dear, hurry up! — Oh dear, hurry up!

- I'm trying to. — I'm trying.

- Well, come on. It's your first day at school. — Come on. It's your first day of school.

- Do you want to be late? — Do you want to be late?

- I'm ready now. — Now I'm ready.

- Ok we go! — Okay, let's go!

Dialogue four

— What do you think the best sort of job is? — What do you think is the best job?

— Engineering, I think. — Engineer, I think.

— I like medicine. — I love medicine.

- To my mind the best one is the one you like the most. — In my opinion, the best is what you like best.

Dialogue five

- Please give me that book. — Please give me this book.

— What for? — For what?

- To have a look at it. — Look at her.

- Here you are. — Please.

- Thank you. — Thank you.

- Not at all. — My pleasure.

Dialogue six

- You're far too lazy. Look at your English. Is this the best you can do? — You are too lazy. Look at your English. Is this the best you can do?

— You know I’m not good at English. — You know, I'm not so good at English.

— And what about Physics? — What about physics?

— I’m ashamed of myself. — I am ashamed of myself.

—You could easily come top of the class. — You can easily be the leader in the class.

— I’ll work harder, I promise. — I will work harder, I promise.

Dialogue seven

— School’s almost over. — School is almost over.

- Yes, I know. — Yes, I know.

— How many more days? — How many days?

- Six. — Six.

— When do the holidays start? — When do the holidays start?

- Next week. — Next week.

Dialogue eight

- Look here, this has got to stop. You’ve come bottom in nearly every subject. - Listen, this needs to stop. You fail in almost every subject.

— Except Geography. - Except geography.

- Yes, indeed. You came second to the bottom in that. - Yes, indeed. This is the second thing you are not good at.

— It wasn’t really my fault. I was ill for some time, wasn’t I? — It's really not my fault. I've been sick for a while, haven't I?

- That's no excuse. — This is not an excuse.

- I'll improve. — I will improve.

- I doubt it. — I doubt it.

Dialogue nine

- Good morning. Glad to see you. — Good morning. I'm glad to see you.

- Good morning. So am I. — Good morning. And me too.

— Won’t you come and sit down? — Would you like to come in and sit down?

— I’m sorry, but I can’t. — Sorry, but I don't want to.

- Why not, I wonder why? — Why not, I wonder why?

— I’m short of time, you know. — I'm running out of time.

- Well, then. What's up? — Well then. What's the matter?

— I’d like to see your sister. Is she in? — I'd like to see your sister. Do you have it?

- Oh, no. She's still at school. — Oh no. She's still at school.

Dialogue ten

- I beg your pardon. Is this the right way to Hyde Park? — I'm sorry. Is this the right way to Hyde Park?

— I’m sorry, I can’t tell you. — Sorry, I can't tell you.

- Oh, what a nuisance! Why not? — Oh, what a shame! Why not?

— You see, I’m stranger in these parts myself. — You see, I'm a stranger in these parts.

- What shall I do, then? — What should I do then?

- Well, ask somebody else or, even better, ask a policeman. — Well, ask someone, or best of all, ask a policeman.

- Thank you. Much obliged. — Thank you. Much obliged.

There is also video and audio material where the roles are voiced and played by professional announcers - this way you can improve your pronunciation. Therefore, learning English using video recordings is effective.